A raffle and an exam. A marvelous morning.

The morning of my exam I felt physically sick.  Nerves I guess.  I was anxious about actually making it to the gym without having to dive into some random cafe for an emergency toilet stop or vomiting in the street.  Not a nice feeling!

As I walked to the gym, eyes down, focused on controlling the rising sick feeling in my belly, I walked straight into the back of a person.  Very embarrassing!  Even more so that this particular guy had a fluorescent yellow vest on!!  He was fundraising for the local Life Boats.  With bright red cheeks, I dug deep and donated £1, thinking inside that maybe, just maybe, if I do a good deed and donate to a good cause, my exam might just go my way.

As I walked off feeling a little smug with my bright idea, I heard the fundraisers laughing.  I listened in and they were having a good old fashioned laugh at my expense.  Not only had I walked into the guy, they weren’t actually looking for donations.  It was a raffle.  As I turned and looked back I realised there was a mighty big speed boat that I hadn’t even noticed.  A speed boat that I had absolutely no chance of winning!

Not a good start to my morning!

However. I am very, very excited to be able to say that despite the nerves prior to my exam, I passed with flying colours.  Absolutely fantastic news!  And you know what, I even enjoyed it!  As soon as I walked into the gym I felt really confident and for the first time in years, my Inner Critic was no where to be heard.  An amazingly free feeling.

If only I knew why and how I felt so confident.  Where was my Inner Critic and why wasn’t he trying to derail the exam?  All I know is that I was so focused on remembering all my teaching points, muscles and techniques for the exam my mind was jam packed.  Perhaps there just wasn’t room for the Inner Critic.  Although I have no doubt that my negative mate was in there yelling, he definitely wasn’t heard.

The scary thing is how fabulous I felt without the negative thoughts.  It’s like I’ve had my first taste of a very addictive drug.  I’m starting to understand just how marvelous life could be if I could take control of my thoughts and turn my negative state of mind around.

Bring it on!