The Power of the Scales…

I was feeling pretty good yesterday.  I’d been to the gym the night before, managed to actually eat when I felt hungry (rather than gorging all food in sight) and even my toddler was in good spirits.  Glorious!

Until late afternoon that is, when it all came crashing down.  That morning my 16 month old had been playing with the scales whilst I got ready.  Silly me hadn’t put the scales away and when I went up to the loo later that afternoon there they sat.  Calling to me… “Go on, weigh yourself.  You’re feeling pretty great.  It’s been ages and who knows, maybe you’ll get a pleasant surprise”.

I got a surprise all right.  I jumped on and what do you know, I’m 3kg heavier than I’ve been in months.  My bubble of happiness burst instantly and I felt truly devastated.  My Inner Critic reminded me that I shouldn’t have bothered… “of course you’re going to weigh too much, you know you’re too big.” on and on. 

I’m amazed that just seeing a number on the scales could make me feel so low.  Especially when just seconds before I’d been on a natural high.  I walked out, in fear that if I stayed I might take my disappointment out on the scales and throw them straight out the window.

I tried to reassure myself that it didn’t matter what the scales said, what was important was how I felt.  It made absolutely no difference though.  It felt impossible to lift my spirits, like a dark cloud had come over me and no sign of it moving on any time soon.

The funniest bit is that later that night I finally ventured back into the bathroom.  I went to put the scales away and what do you know?  They’re showing 3kg without any weight on them!  My toddler had obviously moved the needle adjustment whilst playing with them that morning.  I adjusted the needle back to ‘0′ and jumped on with excitement.  My heart jumped for joy.  I hadn’t put on weight at all.

This wee little incident got me thinking.  It just shows how strong my belief is that I’m overweight and not only that, but also that scales just reinforce our negative thoughts. 

Death to all scales!

The event also served as a big reminder that the focus and aim of this blog is not about how to lose weight.  It’s about how (tips, advice, tools, etc.) to find acceptance within our own bodies and learn to love ourselves.  Although the work of Martha Beck and other BodyBoffins have a weight loss focus, the tools they’re teaching are about building awareness of our negative inner thoughts that are driving the behaviour that we don’t want such as overeating.  It then becomes about how we challenge those thoughts and build new, more positive beliefs.

We have lots of work to do!  This is only the beginning of our journey.