my story
Every day for as long as I can remember I’ve felt heavy, bigger than other girls. Back as early as Primary School I felt self conscious about my body and constantly wished I could change to look more like my smaller, more feminine friends. At high school I knew where every mirror and reflective glass panels were throughout the campus. I walked with my head down to hide from my reflection. Despite being heavily involved in various sports and being relatively fit, I felt embarrassed about the way I looked. By the time I got to University the negativity towards my body and the belief that I was too big was firmly engraved in my psyche. My close friends knew me as an energetic, fun loving friend, but internally I was in bits. I avoided walking through the university grounds as I felt people stared and laughed.I’m now 28 and I’m tired and angry. The negativity is weighing me down and I don’t want to feel this way any longer. I’ve wasted 20 years feeling self conscious and constantly beating myself down. It’s time to take action.
Through working with a life coach (Suzy Greaves – www.thebig-leap.com) I’ve come to realize that the internal disapproval and ridicule towards my body are thoughts and do not necessarily represent the truth.
I’ve decided to take a journey. I’m on a quest to find out if it’s actually possible to somehow throw these negative, hurtful thoughts away and start with a clean slate. I’m desperate to find a way and this blog will track my progress.
Would you like to join me?
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1. Michelle Lyons | 2 June, 2008 at 4:52 pm
Emma, I find your story incredibly inspiring. Whilst we don’t share the same negative thoughts I certainly am overly critical about my abilities. I constantly feel that I’m not good enough and I too have come to the realisation that I’m holding myself back because of these thoughts.
I hope that by blogging you set your mind free of such negative thoughts so that you can be the best person you can be and in the process help others (like myself) along the way.
Good luck!
: )