Two pronged approach…

The media is obsessed with selling us the quick fix, pummelling us with information about how to change and improve our bodies.  A perfect example being a recent article in a high profile fashion mag … ‘the 2 week bikini boot camp … get your body buffed and bikini ready in 2 weeks’.  Although deep down I knew this can’t be possible (well, not with all that I would want to ‘fix’), I still picked up the mag (and yep, I bought it!) and flicked to the page looking for the magic ingredient.

You can’t blame the media though.  Sure, the focus on changing our bodies to make us happier only adds to our fuel to want to look and feel differently but it’s only driven by us, the reader, and what we’re searching for.  Tell me one person that wouldn’t change something about their body, especially when faced with wearing a bikini!

I’ve searched for years for ways to lose weight and spent a hideous amount on magazines!  I’ve always focused on changing what I do – what I eat, how often I eat, what exercise I do, what I wear and so on.  But none of these attempts have changed the way I feel about myself or the negative thoughts I have about my body.

Sure, I always feel fantastic after a hard workout or aerobics session or even those few times I’ve managed to stick to a diet for more than a day.  But it’s not long before my inner thoughts start picking on me again, pointing out all the bits on my body I don’t like, bursting my bubble as quickly as it grew. 

After speaking with my first two bodyboffins I’ve realised that a two pronged approach is required – attack from both ends.  I need to focus on my negative inner thoughts and learn to love myself and all that I can’t change – my body shape and build.  I need to turn these thoughts into positives and in turn, give me the freedom to move forward.  I’ve never challenged my destructive inner voice before and it’s time to take it down!  Perhaps then I will be able to change my behaviours and habits and reach my goals.

Now then, I just need to learn how to challenge my inner thoughts and turn them around.  Hmmm…..

Where do I start?

A ball of excitement is building within. I’m feeling energized at the very prospect of heading off on my quest and finding answers. Is it really possible to be completely comfortable with our bodies, accepting that we’re all incredibly different and stop the destructive criticism?

I truly hope so!

Now, where do I start? Being the well-educated university graduate (hmmm!) how could I not start by ploughing for answers in a book! I spent my lunch break in the local book store standing in front of the self help section (sorry, ‘Body, Mind and Spirit’ collection) with row after row of glossy books staring back at me. I was amazed at how massive (and obviously prosperous!) the self help industry has become. The exciting promises each book made with regard to changing my life was overwhelming… “Change your mind…” “change your life” “Change how you see” “change your body…”

Personally, all this reference to change made me feel inadequate and helped reinforce that I have faults that needed fixing. Perhaps that’s one of the problems. There’s so much information being pushed at us about our bodies and how to change, it only makes us more anxious.

If anything, I need to change the way I feel and the way I think. Not my physical body. Well, if I’m honest, my mind is screaming .. ‘DON’T LIE, YOU KNOW YOU WON’T BE HAPPY UNTIL YOU LOSE WEIGHT!!’. But, I’m hoping my search will unearth the secrets to controlling this nasty inner voice.

Is it possible?

I’ve been weighed down for too long and it’s time to take action.  My thoughts are constantly focused on my body and fretting over all that is ‘wrong’, it’s become an obsession.  The negativity within has etched its way into my core and become the basis of my belief system and thought process.  Like a parasite, the negative thoughts have taken control, drip feeding anxiety, slowly eating away at my confidence and self love. 

The realization has recently hit home that it’s not my curvy body or wobbly thighs that make me feel so low.**  It’s actually my thoughts and what I’ve come to believe that is the root of my suffering.  I keep assuring myself that when I lose another 3kgs and drop one more dress size I’ll be happy.  Deep down I know it’s not true.  Despite fitting into a size 10 and the gym scales telling me my body fat is down to 24%, I don’t feel any smaller.

I’m tired and angry.  How did this happen?  Why am I constantly criticizing myself?  How do I take control and change the way I think and how I see myself?

I can’t begin to imagine how fantastically alive and free I’d feel if I could discard my negative, hurtful thoughts.  Amazingly, I’d have so much more space to think about other things.  I feel scared just allowing myself to contemplate the possibility, not wanting to dream the impossible.

Therein lies the question I need answered.  Is it possible for me to become at peace with my body and accept and love all that I am?

 **this realisation has come about by working with a fantastic life coach – Suzy Greaves (www.thebig-leap.com)